Eggnog
by Onedergirl
Summary: A silly little story about Tom spiking the eggnog . . . . Please r/r.


_A/N: Ok, this was my first ever attempt at writing something humorous. Please r/r to let me know how I did, good or bad._

_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the universe. No harm (or profit) is intended._

Eggnog

by Onedergirl

It all started with the eggnog. Tom brought it and subsequently spiked it. He had decided to watch his crewmates . . . loosen up. Everyone had been really uptight lately, so Tom took it upon himself to make sure that everyone had a good time. Well, he did have an ulterior motive-revenge on Chakotay-but he really wanted the crew to have a good time at Neelix's party. Tom knew that, at about this time on Earth, it was Christmas, so he brought the eggnog.

  
The first vict-er, recipient of Tom's gift was Seven of Nine. Harry had had to convince Seven to try the eggnog in the first place, but it only took one glass of the potent eggnog to make her unable to stand still. Tom thought she looked like she was on an old fashioned ship. She was swaying back and forth and had to hold on to Harry. Harry, Tom thought, looked rather pleased to help the former Borg maintain her balance. It didn't take much of the eggnog to get Harry's eyes looking a little bright and his face a little flushed. Tom had barely taken his eyes off the couple when he looked back and saw Seven pinning Harry against a bulkhead, mumbling something about assimilating relevant data regarding interpersonal relationships. Harry's already bright eyes lit up even further and he said he would be happy to help her assimilate some relevant data. The couple left shortly thereafter, but not before Tom managed to get a picture of his best friend being dragged out of the party by a determined former Borg.

  
Tom then turned his attention towards his adversary: Chakotay. Tom got some great holo images of Chakotay following the Captain around, looking for all the galaxy like a puppy following his master. Tom couldn't help but grin. And take more pictures of the ship's First Officer, of course. At one point, the Captain appeared to be standing under some holly, but Chakotay must have thought that it was mistletoe, because he kissed the captain right then and there. The whole party stopped to watch them, but they didn't stop for a good minute. Tom was fortunate enough to get some great images. Then the captain broke the kiss. She looked around, straightened her uniform, and ordered Chakotay confined to quarters-her quarters. It was at that point that Tom realized that even the Captain was a little tipsy. The two of them left not much later, apparently oblivious to the scene they had created.

  
Tom then realized that a certain lover of his was breathing down his neck. He was about to pull B'Elanna onto his lap, but before he could she jumped onto the mess hall table and started to dance provocatively. That was when Tom realized that maybe he shouldn't have spiked the eggnog. But, unable to help himself, he took a quick image of B'Elanna, then was able to coax her down. They retreated to a corner where they, well, enjoyed some private time. Tom realized that the eggnog had probably affected everyone when Ensign Wildman started making advances on Tuvok. The funny thing was that Tuvok didn't seem to mind. By that point, B'Elanna was getting a little too anxious for Tom's undivided attention, so the couple made a discreet exit. Well, as discreet as possible.

***

The next morning Tom made his appearance on the bridge on time. Barely. He was somewhat sore, but he felt rather refreshed. He looked over at Harry as he exited the turbolift, and smiled inwardly at what he saw. Harry looked rather tired and in pain, but could not seem to keep a grin off his face. The Captain then appeared on the bridge and made sure everything was in order before retreating to her ready room. Tom chuckled inwardly. He'd seen the embarrassed look on the Captain's face. No doubt she-and everyone aboard-remembered her orders to Chakotay the night before. And the Commander. Well, the Commander looked a bit worse for wear, but, like Harry, he was unable to keep from grinning. And Tom felt rather pleased that everyone aboard Voyager had seemed to have a grand time at the party-and afterward. And to think that it had only taken some happy eggnog to do the trick.

  
It was then when Tom had an epiphany. He had some great pictures, and it would be a real shame to let them go unviewed. Just as he was trying to figure out how to arrange a public viewing, the powers that be intervened.

  
"Sickbay to Tom Paris."

"Yes Doctor."

"Would you report to Sickbay please?"

"I'll be right there. Paris out."

  
Of course! The Doctor's infamous photographic essays! Had Tom's face been visible to anyone on the ship, they would have seen a decidedly evil glint appear in his eyes. It only lasted a moment, for Tom then turned to look questioningly over at Chakotay, who looked at him after a moment and nodded. He got up and went to the turbolift. On his way down to sickbay, Tom contemplated the consequences of handing his photos over to the Doc. Various images of painful torture and death flashed in his mind, causing him to wince momentarily. But then he pictured the looks of his crewmates as they saw his pictures. A slow grin spread across his face, full of evil mischief, and he decided that the repercussions were definitely worth it if he could be privy to the reactions of the crew. Particularly the Captain and the Commander. The evil grin on his face widened. Tom sighed contentedly as he exited the turbolift and walked towards sickbay. It was going to be a glorious day.

THE END 


End file.
